how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
