Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
