So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
