She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Randomize
