I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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