i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
