yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
