I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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