so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
