I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
