so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
