Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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