Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
