Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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