The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
