Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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