3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Define "chronic" masturbator.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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