It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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