Sponge bath it is.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
