i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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