i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
