Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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