playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
