He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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