im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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