drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
