i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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