normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
