i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
