i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just want nice things and good sex
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
