If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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