the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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