i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Terrible idea I love it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize