I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
