did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
