Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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