I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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