no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
