Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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