goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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