I am full of burrito and curiosity
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
