just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
