it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
