He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
