i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
