32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
