Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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