I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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