he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
