That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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