You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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