Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
