why didn't you poke me back
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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