My nipple is on Facebook.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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